funny with a soundtrack

People I Won’t Follow on Twitte...

Twitter
Photo by aldh / CC BY Lately I’ve been delving a little bit more into that quasi-mysterious social media behemoth we all know and sometimes love, known as Twitter. I’ve had an account for a few years, but I admit, I was one of those people who really didn’t get the point. “It’s for…what?…writing clev [...]

All That Glitters is in the Litter

DaVinci
   What? “What is she about?” you ask.   I’m talking about cat litter. No, wait! Stay with me here a minute. I haven’t lost my mind, I haven’t been sniffing the litter or anything. Well… in all honesty, in the past I didn’t really need to sniff it. The odor just sort of wafted throughout my house, all the way from the little nook i [...]

Passive Aggressive Poetry: To the Per...

passive aggressive poetry
To the person ahead of me in line Go ahead dear, please, just take your time I’m in no real hurry, though this line is Express You’ve got 62 items, I’ve got 61 less But hey, don’t do anything under duress Like doing the decent thing Letting me go first It’s not like I’ve corpuscles threatening to burst Or [...]

Bibbidi Bobbidi BOOM! Kids Music is P...

mickey+phones+2
You’re tooling around in your car, you think about cranking some tunes with the windows down, the wind in your hair…you reach for a CD…maybe it’s a Stones day.  But just as soon as Mick gets into it, your 5 year old is drowning him out with protests.  “I WANNA LISTEN TO MYYYYYY MUSIC!” Nineteenth nervous [...]

Book Cover Reveal: I Still Just Want ...

Full cover Resize
The follow up to the best selling humor anthology I Just Want To Pee Alone, which was compiled and edited by Jen Mann of the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat, is I Still Just Want to Pee Alone, and I’m thrilled to be among the list of distinguished and talented contributors! Featuring 4o humorous tales of motherhood fro [...]

Laugh In

Laugh In
Laugh In Knock knock… Who’s there? Funny… Funny who? Funny…me Funny…you Laughter: the great sanity stabilizer Try to get through life without LYAO GOOD LUCK Do I amuse you? You amuse me We’re all in on the joke Punch lines Bumper stickers Bits HUMOR ME The world’s a funny place Ya gotta laugh The wor [...]

Compassion is Never Too Little, Too L...

compassion
I consider myself to be a pretty compassionate person. However, as I look back on my life, I am reminded of times when I could have been warmer, more generous, more giving, and certainly more understanding. In some ways, youth and our own tendency toward self-absorption gets in the way of truly seeing those around us and recognizing their nee [...]

Passive Aggressive Poetry

Passive Aggressive Poetry
My therapist once told me that the best way to deal with my family estrangement issues was to write a letter to the person in question, get it off my chest and out on paper. I could then either choose to send it with the knowledge that I’d be “heard” and expect nothing in return, or keep it to myself, using it as nothing mor [...]

More Good Fortunes

photo
In my first disquisition on the subject of fortune cookie wisdom, I merely scratched the surface of what is undoubtedly a fascinatingly random interpretive dance with the devil of all bad dessert items. Let’s put it this way, often the missives contained on those tiny scraps of paper are about as unsatisfying as the artificially flavore [...]

Montana Legislator Wants to Ban Yoga ...

ban yoga pants circle
Attention ladies! Have you been out and about at local grocery stores and malls wearing nothing but your workout duds? You know what I’m talking about; yoga pants. Do you throw on a pair and casually spend the day in them, whether you’re doing yoga or not? Are you traipsing about at school pickup in your spandex like some brazen h [...]

Real Life Should Come With a Soundtra...

8110512502_0a594685a9_z
We were in the car, Miles was in the backseat playing a Star Wars game on his Nintendo DS, and the music was swelling in our heads.  Daaaa…Daaa…Da Da Da…Daaa…Daaaa…Da Da Da Daaaa Daaa…Da Da Da Daaaa! Usually we hate the DS music.  For God’s sake, would it kill the game programmers to include music t [...]

Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times: Stea...

nursery rhymes for modern times
In a far off quizzical land known as Texas An astounding thing happened that stuns & perplexes It seems a young boy somehow instilled some fear In a playmate he said he could make disappear See, he’d just seen The Hobbit, so his new playtime “thing” Was that he had possession of a magical ring He told his young friend he [...]

Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times: Litt...

anti-vaxxer
Poor little first grader Jacqueline Thacker Her mother, it seems, is a staunch anti-vaxxer So determined was she to protect Jacqueline That she let her go this long without a vaccine No small pox, rubella, hepatitis or mumps She ignored all the doctors, dismissed them as chumps All of the hype only invoked more terror Testimonials from Hollyw [...]

Good Fortunes

good fortunes
elleroy say: He who order Chinese food…still have to order dessert. Because the fortune cookies suck. Everybody knows the fun is in the fortune. But what the heck do they mean? I got one that said “If you’re still hungry…order more food.” How prophetic. It’s Chinese food, people. Of course I’m still [...]

Girl Interrupted: The Sentence Finish...

girl interrupted
“I feel just a little…” “Angry?” “No…just a little frustrated because…” “You can’t find your keys?” “No…I can’t seem to…” “Get everything done in a day?” “No…what I’m trying to say is…” “Oh [...]

Bill Belichick’s Balls

Bill Belichick
Seems you can’t turn on the TV lately without hearing about Patriots football team head coach Bill Belichick’s balls. In fact, really, the whole team’s balls. Apparently they were deflated during a pretty important “event”.  Now there’s a lot of controversy over who did what to the balls, whether they were [...]

My Kid’s Teacher is Driving Me ...

my kid's teacher is driving me crazy
I’m thinking about making this a series. Seriously, Miles’ third grade teacher is driving me crazy.  She’s a nice lady, and I know she’s just doing her job, according to the dicktum dictum being set forth by the school board, the state, and yada yada. Teachers have one of the hardest, most important jobs there is, and [...]

Jesus’ 13th Birthday

Jesus' 13th Birthday
It’s not easy raising a teen. Especially now, when they’re all locked in their rooms playing video games, only resurfacing for matters of sustenance or expulsion of bodily fluids. Getting them to talk to people who come to the house? In full sentences? How about when friends and relatives come over for a holiday or the kid’ [...]

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