funny with a soundtrack

Ambush Makeovers Need a Makeover!!

I’m going to come clean here. Because I actually clean up pretty nice. Sometimes I sit through The Today Show during the Hoda and Kathie hour. I’m careful to clarify that I “sit through” it – I don’t actually watch it. Because if I watched it, I would never stop bitch slapping my flat screen. Every now and then one of their henchwomen [...]

Weird New Jersey – At the Shore

If you’ve ever heard about or read the magazine Weird NJ, you know it’s filled with oddities and lore from the north to the shore of the great Garden State. It’s hilarious really, and kind of surprising to find that there is so much strange shit all crammed into the space of one small state.  Kind of like the population.  No [...]

Johnny Depp Is the “E” Wo...

My heart skipped a beat when Kevin (my betrothed) alerted me that Johnny  Depp would be on The Today Show this morning. He knows. For years he’s endured my fascination with the actor – the fine specimen whose features have been crafted by The Creator with such precision that He must have been tired or just slacking when Seth Rogen [...]

Dream On: The Infidelities Dream

  “Have you any dreams you’d like to sell…” – Stevie Nicks    Yes. Yes I do. Preferably in book form. Here’s the thing; I have a lot of vivid dreams that I remember the next morning, and often document in a cute little journal I keep at my bedside. I also have a couple of books on dream interpretation [...]

Rock Mom Enough

It’s one a.m. on a Saturday night. The music is loud, really loud, and above the din, there are the voices of young males fighting over the last slice of pizza. I pull the pillow up over my head, hoping to muffle the commotion. I’m tired and I have to get up and make breakfast for these lovable louts in the morning. So when it continues, I [...]

Quizzy Lipton Thinks: My Answers To t...

I’m about to go all James Lipton on you. Being a former student of The Arts, most notably acting. So I can appreciate the probing questions of Mr. Lipton, however pretentiously they may be delivered.  The questions are not his originally, but were taken from a mentor or most admired muse of his, if you will, a Frenchman named Fou Fou…Fo [...]

Yogi Bare? Naked Yoga

There’s a yoga studio in New York City called Bold & Naked.  You guessed it – naked yoga. It started with naked yoga for men, then it became available for women and now there are co-ed classes. They’re supposedly meant to be “sensual” and not “sexual” and touching’s a no-no, but if men get [...]

Mother Goosed: Nursery Rhymes For Mod...

Remember when your mother read you Mother Goose nursery rhymes as a kid? Remember how they scared the shit out of you? What was up with all the sinister storytelling and why was it supposed to be for children? Naturally, we all nostalgically got our own volume of nursery rhymes to regale our own children with tales that would undoubtedly keep [...]

The Conscious Uncoupling of An Uncons...

I’ve gotta tell ya – I’ve wondered what took him this long? I mean, right? How to live with this insufferable, beyond all reasonable depths of pretension, GOOP Princess? GAH! What say you, people? Are you as rocked to your very apple core as I am (not) by their recent shocking “conscious uncoupling”? And by the w [...]

Guest Post: T.A. Woods On The Breakfa...

I’m very pleased to feature another guest post on the blog today by one of my favorite writers, and it just so happens that today is the day her first book launches! T.A. Woods (we know and love her as Tamara) is a gifted poet, writer, and the newest addition to the Lefty Pop Team! Give it up for Tamara as she waxes nostalgic about one [...]

A Day In the Wife (and Mother)

7 am: “Your breath smells like you brushed your teeth with sadness”. That was the first thing my almost 8 year old Miles said to me the other day upon waking.  Alright, I get that morning breath is the stuff of death warmed over, and I’ll admit that I sometimes feel like I flossed with the fear of humanity, missing a spot r [...]

Filming a Rockumentary: Grumpy Old Pu...

Last summer, Kevin’s band Grumpy Old Punks, brought a camera crew to the house and filmed a Rockumentary which is now in post production and will be ready for public eyes soon to coincide with the release of a new EP! I documented the documentation and I’m sharing it with you. The backstory on Grumpy Old Punks, is that my husband [...]

Book Review: Wild Woman Waking

From the time I was a child, poetry has always been a means of expression for me. I still have notebooks full of naive poetry that I sat in my room dreaming up. My poetry turned ago lyric writing and continued up to today, as I routinely do both. That’s why, when I began blogging, I knew I wanted to incorporate poetry into my writing a [...]

Just Say “NO!”

Just Say No .jpg
\ Have I been too neg lately? Eh. Whatever.  And in the grand comic tradition, I like to turn lemons into citron vodka, add a nice mixer like that Arnold Palmer mix in the big ass jug, and pour to my heart’s content while making dinner.  Because I’m not the type to spring out of bed every morning before twelve without a healthy do [...]

The 10 Stages Of Pot Smoking In Portr...

Have you seen those drawings that that girl did depicting pretty damn accurately what an acid trip is like? I mean, I wouldn’t know….uh…I just hear stuff, ya know? So it got me to thinking; what if I did a “study” of pot smoking in a series of drawings? You know, purely for scientific reasons of course, because, medical mari [...]

Menopause Is a Bitch: Menopau-sing-a-...

Donna Maysack’s back! Because I thought I’d just let her write this blog from now on.  Just kidding. But she writes some dang funny song parodies and I got such a kick out of this one, I thought I’d record it and it covers a subject that has begun to plague me as much as it’s probably plaguing a number of you: menopau [...]

Pass the Stuffing …Heeeeeeerrrreee...

Tomorrow will be my two year blogaversary and believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve ever featured a guest post on the blog. Why? I don’t know. I should’ve done this earlier. Especially because the blogger who has agreed to do the honors has been a dear friend pretty much from the beginning of my time here in the bl [...]

18 Years a Slave

18 Years a Slave
photo Before you or I say anything on this matter, I’d like to make one thing perfectly clear. I love my kids. I am not complaining, or wishing for a life sans kids, or bad mouthing them, or trying to make those without kids feel bad by talking about things they’d love to experience. I’m sensitive, considerate folk. But und [...]

I’m Tired. And I Just Wanna Lie...

photo I just wanna lie down. I’m tired.   So tired. My lie down is not of the glamorous beach variety… photo Although…I do own this hat. Never worn it. Not once. No, I’m just tired. Tired of winter, tired of depression, tired of rejection, tired of waking up to the same Groundhog Day over and over. I’m tired of that f [...]

Does the Pope Sh#t In the Woods?!

I love this f@#%in’ Pope!  He’s so real. For a representative of the deity, he is so human. He’s taken down the frosty façade of Catholicism to mingle with the common folk. He’s lived a simple and modest lifestyle, and done more to change the face of Catholicism than any other Pope in recent times. Oh hell, ever.   But [...]

Bakery Blog, Tasty Treats and Perky P...

lenny macarons crop
I’m willing to cop to it: I like food. No, I love food. And I’ve gained about 10 pounds this Winter to prove it.  Dessert? Why, yes…thank you! I never met a cookie or cake I didn’t like, you know what I mean? So when my good friend, fellow pug enthusiast Lin Randolph, asked me to be blog editor for her company, Alecia Baker [...]

100 Word Song: The Only Exception

The Only Exception  verse Keeping a comfortable distance From all of the noise that surrounds me and shadows me One more distraction that leans on me heavily Knocks down my house of cards Shatters it steadily The only exception is silence The only exception’s my mind on the disconnect Doing things naturally ‘stead of what’s [...]

Lena Dunham: Girl Keepin’ It Re...

A lot has been said about Lena Dunham and her penchant for appearing nude in virtually every scene of her hit HBO series Girls. Recently, she’s been the subject of much debate over photo touch ups; how much is too much and should they really be done at all. Oh, and there was the usual controversy about her recent VOGUE cover, which only [...]

Here’s a Tip For the Waitress: ...

photo “Hiyuuuuuhhh! What can I get for yoooouuuuu????” Now. Say that in a really high pitched up-talk tone. Like you’re Miss Barbara and this is Romper Room.  Because that’s what our waitress sounded like the other night at Longhorn Steakhouse when she addressed every family member – 7 yrs to 51 – during th [...]

There Is Nothing More Epic Than Olymp...

There’s no disappointment like Olympic disappointment. Epic, unmitigated, gut wrenching disappointment, the likes of which could never be felt by mere mortals. That is to say, those of us who have not toiled on the slopes or in a skating rink or some such training facility for hours upon hours, waking at dawn, slave to one’s own [...]

100 Word Song: You Better Run

you better run On those days when the dark cloud descends and you feel like nothing you do or say is right when you feel that everyone misunderstands you and the world is against you when it seems that everything you’ve worked so hard for is about to go up in smoke it seems so easy to just blow up, give up and chuck it all because why [...]

Polar Opposites

  Polar Opposites  polar fleece polar vortex back and forth rain snow sleet hail all hail breaks loose the days are long stir crazy kids cabin fever gives birth to the cusp of insanity until… could it be? warmth ever so gently and slightly with hopes of a budding future with no return to bleakness And so… polar opposites col [...]

Zombie Reality Shows I’d Like T...

Zombies are where it’s at.  Although I’ve been quietly and patiently waiting for the demise of the current trend, (because I’m a drag like that) I am forced to admit that quite possibly, zombies are here to stay.  Here today, gone tomorrow and then back. And back. And back… I’m too squeamish and can’t get [...]

My name's Linda Roy. My nickname is elleroy. I'm a humorist, musician, writer, mom, and the female Larry David. I'll criticize your parallel parking to prove it. I write about where I've been, what I'm doing and where I'm going. If anybody asks, tell 'em "elleroy was here".

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ranked #1 for humor 10/26/12

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