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Zombie Reality Shows I’d Like to See


Zombies are where it’s at. They’re hot. Will the current zombie trend die out eventually? Who knows? I have a feeling that if it does, it will come back. And back. And back, until we finally stab it in the brain with the nearest screwdriver.

They’re Coming to Get You Barbara…

My first introduction into the Zombieverse was during high school band camp. All the freshmen were seated front row, center for a big black and white showing of Night Of the Living Dead. The film was forwarded and rewound over and over during the burning pickup truck/intestine consumption scene. I “oohed and aahhed” with the best of them, but every time I spy a cemetery on the periphery, it’s “They’re coming to get you Barbara…”. Dammit, Barbara! Why couldn’t you just run? Why’d you have to fall so predictably? Why do they always fall and twist an ankle? Aaarrggghhh!!

I’ve already binged my way through every season of The Walking Dead. But how do I sate my ravenous zombie appetite between new episodes?

I think a zombie reality show would be the perfect marriage of reality meets un-reality. Normally, I prefer a more cerebral approach to television, but hey, what the heck? It doesn’t always have to be about brains, does it?

Zombie Bachelor – One ridiculously hot zombie and twenty young, beautiful and totally available zombie ladies vying for his affections. The hot tub sequences are problematic, because hot water and severed limbs… and when he loses his tongue down one woman’s throat, choking her, it’s no bed of roses. But by the elimination round when he asks “Will you accept this earlobe?” it’s pure magic. And when he finally chooses a bride, it’s for life. And life. And life.

The Real AfterWorld: Apocalypse – 7 zombies. Picked to be undead in a house. To see what happens when things stop being polite…and start getting real. Set to an edgy soundtrack, tempers flair and heads roll. Quite literally.

Survivor – Zombie – What do you mean “what’s the point because they all survive”? It’s the journey, not the destination.

The Real Zombies Of Atlanta – Cat fights, lavish homesteads and all out stylish diva war! And during the reunion episode, they get to eat Andy Cohen’s brains. So worth it.

Project Zombie – “With my looks and your brains, I could go somewhere!” This group of Zombie-nistas make it work for the opportunity to show at Forest Park. Cemetery.

Shark/Zombie Week – Eat or be eaten.

Top Chef Zombie – Hosted by Anthony Bourdain, who knew there were so many variations for cooking organ meat?

Who Wants to Be a Zombie Millionaire? When it comes to your fortune, they say you can’t take it with you, so why not come back and get it? Hosted by Regis Philbin, because he already looks dead, contestants will be allowed to call a back-to-life-line. The game show where contestants turn brains into cash.

I don’t know about you, but I’d give an arm and a leg to watch any of these.

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Photo by Ryan Seyeau / CC BY 

zombie reality shows




  1. February 19, 2014    

    I’m not a zombie fan, either. However, I did watch “World War Z” and those zombies were FAST! And by “watch” I mean that the movie was playing while I was in the house, and I kept finding projects to complete like giving my son a bath, and while he was bathing, I read online how the movie ended before actually watching the end with my husband because I’m squeamish, too.

    • February 21, 2014    

      That’s how far out of the zombie loop I am! I had no idea they were fast. Old school zombies are slow. But that just heightens the fear, meaning there’s no way I can do it.

  2. February 19, 2014    

    I watched the first season of The Walking Dead by myself when I was sick, and it was a mistake. I was horrified and jumping at every noise. But I kept watching, because I like to punish myself.

    • February 21, 2014    

      You are braver than I, my friend. I can’t do it. Nope.

  3. February 19, 2014    

    Zombies are my least favorite monster. I do admit to liking vampires in True Blood, campy but fun show. And what’s with all the fast zombies now? Zombies are supposed to be slow as far as I am concerned. I recently saw a movie that I was surprised how much I enjoyed, Shaun of the Dead, a funny twist on the zombie movie, but with plenty of ick-factor too (not that I like that). One of my teenage sons and I both liked it. The other one left creeped out.

    • February 21, 2014    

      Oh, Shaun Of the Dead is hilarious!

  4. February 19, 2014    

    I’m a fan of all things gory, and I must admit I was the most amazing/disgusting zombie for Halloween! haha. I had holes in my face and everything. It. Was. Awesome.
    And the craziest thing? I’ve only seen one episode of The Walking Dead. It’s not even like I’m a huge fan of zombies, per say, but it doesn’t bother me that we’re on some crazy zombie trend lately. I just appreciate a monster I guess. Any monster. Especially a vampire (but not the sparkly kind or Lizzi will berate me for years!)

    Love this post, Linda! Very clever and funny. I was grinning throughout. Poor Andy! haha! And zombies in the hot tub….EW.

    • February 21, 2014    

      I’m a total wimp! I need to water down my zombie action. lol

  5. February 19, 2014    

    I’m with you. I am so not into zombies or the apocalypse or anything like that. i don’t know, somehow i missed that ship. although, top chef zombie and zombie bachelor… you may be on to something.

    • February 21, 2014    

      Right? How much fun would that be? 😉

  6. February 19, 2014    

    I’m not into zombies, but your TV show ideas sound more appealing than the originals. I would sooner stab myself in the eye with a rusty fork than watch any of the original shows.

    • February 21, 2014    

      No! Put down the fork Vanessa! Real World Zombie is about to start. Look! I popped popcorn.

  7. February 19, 2014    

    Ha! Some of my husband’s relatives are buried in a hillside cemetary just like the one in Night of the Living Dead. Freaked me out when we went there.

    I love your prospective TV shows. My best laugh of the day.

    • February 21, 2014    

      Haha! My grandparents are in a place like that. And they play the most creepy organ music all throughout the cemetery too. Creepy…

  8. February 20, 2014    

    I’m a fan of The Walking Dead but a HUGE (since they both debuted) fan of Survivor and Top Chef! That would be so cool…plus Top Chef would get totally wild with all of the kitchen utensils and knives! Awesome, Linda! :)

    • February 21, 2014    

      Yeah, ya know? Weapons! This is getting good… 😉

  9. February 20, 2014    

    You are too funny. I always look forward to your posts! I have to say, I love all things gory and horror and so on, but zombies just don’t do it for me. I couldn’t even make it through one episode of The Walking Dead. I can hear the gasps of disbelief as I write that!

    • February 21, 2014    

      Thanks Deanna! :) So the zombies don’t do it for ya huh? Well, you know, I can see that, because actually, they’re annoying. There. I said it. Zombies are annoying. All the “Brains” and the leg dragging. I mean, get it together, undead people!

  10. February 20, 2014    

    I would totally watch Zombie Bachelor and Zombie Top Chef, although for some reason I’d prefer Zombie Padma to Zombie Anthony Bourdain. Maybe because he seems like he would be too fond of being a zombie; I don’t know. At any rate, this was a really fun post. I, however, admit loving zombie culture. I so look forward to the Zombie Pub Crawl in Minneapolis every year, and have blogged about it several times. I actually have a Guiness World Record certificate for being part of the world’s largest gathering of zombies in 2012. :)

    • February 21, 2014    

      You’re right. Bourdain would SO enjoy being a zombie and eating organ meat. And the zombie pub crawl, sounds like a blast!

  11. February 20, 2014    

    Zombie Bachelor? Now there’s a show that I would watch.

    • February 21, 2014    

      Wouldn’t the “meeting the parents” weekends be hilarious?

  12. February 20, 2014    

    I LOVE The Walking Dead. I was utterly freaked by World War Z. Alternatively, I found Night of the Living Dead absolutely TERRIFYING. Go figure.

    I’d watch just about all of your show ideas, by the way.

    • February 21, 2014    

      Night Of the Living Dead in black and white, no less. That movie was so well done, it is just terrifying!

  13. February 25, 2015    

    I have joined in on the zombie craze yet but even I would watch zombie survivor!

  14. February 25, 2015    

    HAHAHA the part about Regis, that’s terrible. And hilarious.

  15. ohmandelynn's Gravatar ohmandelynn
    February 25, 2015    

    I did not see the page to give you all my money to make these happen! Make all the shows! :) where is the gofundme account? :) Love this post!!

give me your two cents. i'm broke.


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