Zombies are where it’s at. They’re hot. Will the current zombie trend die out eventually? Who knows? I have a feeling that if it does, it will come back. And back. And back, until we finally stab it in the brain with the nearest screwdriver.
They’re Coming to Get You Barbara…
My first introduction into the Zombieverse was during high school band camp. All the freshmen were seated front row, center for a big black and white showing of Night Of the Living Dead. The film was forwarded and rewound over and over during the burning pickup truck/intestine consumption scene. I “oohed and aahhed” with the best of them, but every time I spy a cemetery on the periphery, it’s “They’re coming to get you Barbara…”. Dammit, Barbara! Why couldn’t you just run? Why’d you have to fall so predictably? Why do they always fall and twist an ankle? Aaarrggghhh!!
I’ve already binged my way through every season of The Walking Dead. But how do I sate my ravenous zombie appetite between new episodes?
I think a zombie reality show would be the perfect marriage of reality meets un-reality. Normally, I prefer a more cerebral approach to television, but hey, what the heck? It doesn’t always have to be about brains, does it?
Zombie Bachelor – One ridiculously hot zombie and twenty young, beautiful and totally available zombie ladies vying for his affections. The hot tub sequences are problematic, because hot water and severed limbs… and when he loses his tongue down one woman’s throat, choking her, it’s no bed of roses. But by the elimination round when he asks “Will you accept this earlobe?” it’s pure magic. And when he finally chooses a bride, it’s for life. And life. And life.
The Real AfterWorld: Apocalypse – 7 zombies. Picked to be undead in a house. To see what happens when things stop being polite…and start getting real. Set to an edgy soundtrack, tempers flair and heads roll. Quite literally.
Survivor – Zombie – What do you mean “what’s the point because they all survive”? It’s the journey, not the destination.
The Real Zombies Of Atlanta – Cat fights, lavish homesteads and all out stylish diva war! And during the reunion episode, they get to eat Andy Cohen’s brains. So worth it.
Project Zombie – “With my looks and your brains, I could go somewhere!” This group of Zombie-nistas make it work for the opportunity to show at Forest Park. Cemetery.
Shark/Zombie Week – Eat or be eaten.
Top Chef Zombie – Hosted by Anthony Bourdain, who knew there were so many variations for cooking organ meat?
Who Wants to Be a Zombie Millionaire? When it comes to your fortune, they say you can’t take it with you, so why not come back and get it? Hosted by Regis Philbin, because he already looks dead, contestants will be allowed to call a back-to-life-line. The game show where contestants turn brains into cash.
I don’t know about you, but I’d give an arm and a leg to watch any of these.