funny with a soundtrack

Does the Pope Sh#t In the Woods?!

pope-francis.jpgI love this f@#%in’ Pope!  He’s so real. For a representative of the deity, he is so human. He’s taken down the frosty façade of Catholicism to mingle with the common folk. He’s lived a simple and modest lifestyle, and done more to change the face of Catholicism than any other Pope in recent times. Oh hell, ever.  

But shit! Do you know what the f@#%in’ Pope did recently?  He dropped the F bomb!

Oh yes, he did. He was all up on his balcony giving a speech or a sermon or a mass, or whatever it is he does…because I’m a recovering Catholic and really, I’ve blocked all of that out, except I can still recite that really long thing we used to do in church. I can recite that thing by rote with my eyes closed while standing on one foot and touching my nose with both index fingers, while drunk. Oh yes I can.  Just give me the first few words and I’m off and running. I can do it in the customary church monotone and I can do it fast, real fast, like that guy from the car commercials who tells you really quickly about the MSRP and shit.

Yes, the Pope dropped the F bomb. In front of a crowd.  Sure it was an accident, but I think it still counts as far as boosting the Pope’s street cred is concerned.  Here’s what happened. Pope Francis intended to use the Italian word. for ‘example’, which is “caso”.  Instead, he said “cazzo”, or F@#k, which in Italian, also refers to the male genitalia.

Holy Shit! 

It came at a moment when he was urging the world to strive for a peaceful solution to the situation in Ukraine. Well, f#$%, I totally get that. Pope Francis, I don’t think you pissed anybody off, I mean dammit, that’s real. And of course it was just a gaffe.

But you know, it immediately got around like John Travolta on an Adele Dazeem bender. As far as I know, there still isn’t a Twitter account, so would somebody please get on that?

Now don’t get mad at me. I’m just the messenger. Don’t start calling me an ass-Pope-hat. But between you and me, and the Holy ghost, this Pope is totally a bad ass Mother F@#%&er! And that’s a compliment as far as I’m concerned.

Besides…to err is human, to forgive, divine.


  1. March 4, 2014    

    I, too, am enthralled with Francis and his liberal self. Haters like to point out his continued conservative stands on woman priests, etc., but I think what he’s done so far in just making the Catholic Church seem more accessible deserves fix or six standing ovations.

    • March 4, 2014    

      I do too. He’s a breath of fresh air and a much needed asset to a denomination whose numbers were diminishing and was continually out of touch and intolerant.

  2. March 4, 2014    

    He’s just embracing his inner Italian…upon birth we are all expected to learn the 4 major 4 lettered curse words: C*%$ /F$%^ / Shit / Damn (this is best if you put the 3 lettered word in front of it, but it is the Pope so he gets a pass)

    • March 4, 2014    

      Yeah, I almost put that one in, but I thought lightening would strike me down immediately.

      • March 5, 2014    

        This is awesome! I for one would like to take a pro-profanity stance of all papal matters, from now on!

  3. March 4, 2014    

    Now that’s a pope I can get behind! haha awesome.

    • March 4, 2014    

      Me too! The kinda Pope you could see yourself hanging out in the sacristy sneaking sips of the wine with.

  4. March 4, 2014    

    Hey stranger! I’m attempting to join the land of the living.
    I read about this last night and thought it was great.
    The Pope is a cool cat.
    I was watching the Oscars when JT introduced Idina…she was robbed.
    I love her and she deserved better.
    I’m more interested in WTH happened in his brain.
    I felt it appropriate to use it here. ;)
    I’ve missed you!
    Teejay Crawzford
    (My Travolta name)

    • March 4, 2014    

      T.!!! Great to hear from you!! I’m stoked that I’m teaching everybody here how to swear in Italian, so that’s Job 1 accomplished. This Pope is definitely cool.

      Yeah, what was up with Vinny Barbarino, anyway? I mean, it starts with the hair plugs, or the wig, or whatever he had goin’ on and then the “WICK-edly talented…” was kinda creepy…and then…of course he went all Adele on us.

      Miss you too, girl!! XO
      Leona Rozz
      (Travolta Name)

  5. March 4, 2014    

    I am also a recovering Catholic and I find this F#@*ing Pope awesome. I wish he’s drop a few more. Love this Linda!!!!

    • March 4, 2014    

      Cheryl, I see a support group in our future. One where we drink lots of wine and laugh like Hell. While wearing nun habits? Wouldn’t that be a gas? This F&*$#ing Pope Rocks! If he hung out with us, he would. ;)
      Thanks! xo

  6. March 4, 2014    

    LOL I missed it but it cracks me up! A Pope with some class for sure! :)

    • March 4, 2014    

      He’s got it goin’ on. Almost makes me want to go back to being Catholic. Well, let’s not go crazy, here.

  7. CC's Gravatar CC
    March 5, 2014    

    I’m not Catholic….recovering or otherwise…but I agree with Sarah. And, Linda…..your artistic style fuses with your amazing sense of humor in such a poetic & enjoyable way that you seem to have this innate ability to tickle my funny bone. Really enjoyed laughing out loud over this :-)

  8. March 5, 2014    

    I too love this Pope and Im not even Catholic. I think he’ll do great things for human kind by example and the fact he can say fuck, even by mistake is ok by me! Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up

  9. March 5, 2014    

    The reason why I don’t curse isn’t religious but it’s because I suck at it. I sound like a creep when I swear. I’m insanely jealous the Pope can gutter mouth better than me.

    I like him more than ever.

  10. March 5, 2014    

    It’s about fucking time we get a pope who acts like the human that he is. Adding his f-bomb to the list of reasons to love him. And I LOVE your post even more–absolutely hilarious.

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I was selected for VOTY/PhOTY 2015

Hi! I'm Linda Roy. My nickname is elleroy. I'm a humorist, musician, writer, mom, and the female Larry David. I'll criticize your parallel parking to prove it. I write about where I've been, what I'm doing and where I'm going. If anybody asks, tell 'em "elleroy was here".

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